I recently had an interaction with a friend where I hadn’t responded to something and she made an assumption about what was going on and responded in a way that could have damaged our friendship.
And it really hit me how important it is to not jump the gun and take action on partial information. Here are some of my thoughts on this:
It turned out due to circumstances that I had had no opportunity to respond to what had been put out there as the request hadn’t even reached me. And without knowing what was up, my friend had put some of the missing pieces into place the way she thought the story was panning out.
And it made me aware of how I surely do this too in my daily life.
This brought me back to what John de Ruiter talks about in his work. He asks us to really be honest about our experiences and look at how many things we base on just hearsay.
I found that hugely inspirational and make a point of asking myself again and again if what I know is really true for me. Do I know it to be completely true or is it just hearsay, something that someone has passed on to me through the grapevine?
I sometimes catch myself wanting to share a nugget of very nebulous origin. Last night I was sitting having a drink with a lovely friend and we were talking about this very thing. I was relating a story to her that sounded incredulous, a story that a friend of mine has shared about a friend of his. But when we slowed down and I underlined how it really was just hearsay and that I had no way of knowing the truth of it, we realised how ridiculous it would have been to go into any form of judgment over it, let alone take action on it.
And seeing it for the story it was felt good. We were able to just let it go.
I hold intention to keep this uppermost in my awareness. And continue to ask myself if I know something to be true based on my personal experience. If not, I clarify to the best of my ability. Asking a question can make all the difference.
What about you? When did you last get caught in making an assumption and how did it feel when the truth came out? I’d love you to share. Thanks.