For the past few months I’ve been consciously working on moving past the resistance that arises within me to doing things that I have been trying to avoid for a long while.
The more I bring focus into my life, the more determined I become to move towards goals I have held for many years and never quite found them momentum to realise. And as my determination grows, so too does my resistance.
Everywhere I go the topic of resistence is being mirrored back to me.
A few years back I would have felt discouraged and wanted to just withdraw and let things be. But today I know that this is a sign that I am coming close to having a breakthrough. The coping strategies I put in place years ago have run their course and are no longer serving me. And it is up to me to acknowledge that and release them with gratitude.
When I was in my twenties living in Germany I was involved in a whole series of car crashes and sustained considerable injuries as well as a fear of being in the busy traffic on the roads. And my spine bore witness to what had happened.
Despite all sorts of therapies and treatments to loosen up my spine again and free myself from pains, I never really experienced any sort of relief and began to just accept the way things were. My spine was in really bad shape. I loved all the yoga classes I attended but till felt the tightness and pain.
But recently I discovered kundalini yoga and was told that this was going to loosen up my back and bring great movement and freedom into my spine. On Wednesday evening I was at one of my classes and could feel huge stiffness and resistence as we moved on through the kriya. The idea is to use the breath to break through inner barriers, the belief that we cannot go on any more. I realised that it was up to me to focus on my breath and dissolve any pain, any past trauma and free myself up.
Over the past two days I have continued to do these specific exercises, feeling a greater flow in my spine, an improved flexibility and a new strength. When I stand straight I can feel the well-formed muscles now on both sides of my spine and I can even bend further backwards than I could before.
This is exciting and I know it is symbolic of the other things that are happening in my life right now. No-one is going to tell me any more that my spine is rigid and cannot be loosened up. No-one is going to tell me that I have to go gentle on my body and take pain killers to numb things up.
I am persevering to get past my inner resistence and know I am on a roll. Using my breath.
And for me that’s the ultimate inspiration.
So what’s inspiring you to move past resistence in your life?