Letting Go of the Ego Stuff as None of it Matters

I had a wonderfully inspiring conversation with a lovely friend of mine today and was reminded of how it is when we get caught up in ego matters and lose sight of the bigger picture.

We were chatting about helping other people work through difficulties. Sometimes you make progress but then reach a point where you hit a wall and there doesn’t seem to be any more shifting. In the time you take to stand back and gain some new perspective, the person may turn in a new direction for a moment, grab at something else momentarily and then suddenly the energy moves again and the breakthrough occurs.

And it may be they attribute all the success to this ‘other thing’.

So where does this leave us?

It’s so easy to feel hurt and a bit upset that they didn’t attribute any of it to you after all the time and effort you put in.

But looking at it from the wider perspective, they achieved the results they wanted. In the bigger picture one more person has gone to bed healed, happy and more at peace with themselves.

So what does it matter who actually brought it about?

And releasing our need to receive acknowledgment for any part we played in the process brings a great sense of acceptance and peace to us.

In healing and helping others, we are ultimately giving it to ourselves. And for me, at least, that is a beautiful outcome.

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15 Responses to Letting Go of the Ego Stuff as None of it Matters

  1. So poignant! So true! You really get it, Fiona, and I love reading your perspective on things. If you had let ego get in the way and felt bad for not being recognized the energy would have totally shifted. Understanding that you helped heal another, thus healing yourself, is reward enough.
    Beautiful post!

    Heidi & Atticus
    “commentary to give you paws…”

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for you comment Heidi. I appreciate your thoughts and feedback. We’re all on this journey together. Glad to share and inspire. xx

  2. Donna McCord says:

    I agree with Heidi, Fiona. It is so natural to want recognition for what we do that is good, that is helpful, that is worthwhile. And it is so easy to have wounded egos when we are overlooked or unrecognized for what we believe is our due! You are very wise for seeing how unproductive that bruised ego can be; I believe that very often God uses us to help and heal others…it is really His power that is doing the healing; we are the instrument. But I also believe that God blesses us for our efforts and our hearts, and that what we do for others comes back to us multiplied…as you said, you receive healing when you see the other person is healed. I believe, too, that we are all so connected as God’s children, when one is hurting, we are all affected; and when one is restored, we benefit, too. Just as when one part of our body is injured, the rest of the body feels it; when that injury heals, the whole body rejoices!

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for commenting Donna. It’s only ever between us and our maker anyway. Sharing love and healing without looking for it coming back is the only way to truly love and heal ourselves. We are so interconnected that it only takes one to do or be something and we all benefit. As you say, healing a few cells in our body brings about whole body healing. It’s wonderful to know and feel that. x

  3. Julie Labes says:

    The stars must in alignment as this is exactly how I have been feeling this week and i have had to take a step back and hold my breath so I did not do my usual ready, aim fire and then afterward feel like a total idiot.
    Thanks for the lovely words Fiona You are always so eloquent in your writings

    Julie Labes: Baby-Boomer Travel Specialist: For The Fun-Loving, Feisty, Fearless, Frisky, Fierce Over 50 Traveler

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks so much Julie. Yes, when things are in alignment, we notice all the synchronicities and everything flows. Lovely to hear how you took a deep breath and just allowed. And lovely to hear you enjoyed the post. x

  4. Hi Fiona,

    this is so beautiful! I think I was able to help someone today who is so stuck in his life that afterwards I realized how much I was helping myself with it. Giving a new perspective to others opens so many doors to yourself.
    And when you are stuck, someone else will open that door for you, you just have to walk through yourself 🙂

    Franziska San Pedro
    The Abstract Impressionist Artress

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting Franziska. This is further confirmation of how giving has receiving inherent within it. x

  5. These are such wise words, Fiona, and often so hard to live by! We want acknowledgment, we want “proof” of our power and contribution, we want that feel-good moment of success. I think the more we start wanting these things, the more we need these times when these apparent rewards are taken from us. Our egos don’t like to be deflated, but it is a gift when we can receive what comes our way. You’ve written a really beautiful and powerful post here–proof positive!

    Judy Stone-Goldman
    The Reflective Writer
    “Word maven loves–and learns from–ordinary life.”

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thank you for sharing Judy. It is empowering for us when we can remember that our ego has no power over us. Everything is in perfect balance at all times and what goes about comes about. This post is there as a reminder to myself too. x

  6. Lisa N Valero says:

    Beautiful post Fiona, as always!
    What great insight to the truth of personal inner peace. It’s very hard to learn that the resentment is actually destructive to us – it’s our ego clamoring for attention. But with the realization that the goal was to give – your knowledge, your guidance, your understanding, and your insight, comes the inner peace of what you’ve received.
    Being able to realize that the gift of giving is the gift itself is hard to do; it is also beautiful to do, bringing us the best gift of all – peace.
    Lovely and powerful words. Fantastic reminder of something that I have felt is essential in any interpersonal relationship – of any kind. The reminder is welcome and the goal is superb!
    Thank you once again for this wonderful food for thought! ♥♥♥

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      You’re so welcome and thank you again for sharing your thoughts here Lisa. We are so often catalysts for things that we are unable to see. But trusting that when we reach out to another soul and help them, that the healing is taking place for everyone involved, is all we need to do. All these badges and accolades we run after fade into insignificance when we stay in our hearts and live our soul connection to its fullest.

  7. This is such an inspiring post. This is my first time here. (I followed you over here from Facebook.) I’ll definitely be back. I tend to spend most of my time reading blogs about business, WordPress and social networking. This post is like a breath of fresh air.

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Hi Sherryl,

      So lovely to hear how you came over from Facebook. And thrilled to hear how you enjoyed the post. It’s lovely to see you on my blog and I look forward to more interaction with you. x

  8. Fiona, I’m catching up on some older posts and am happy I didn’t miss this. You are so inspiring and wise! Every time I read you, I feel better about life – more relaxed, more soulful, more in tune. Thanks for the tune up! 🙂

    caregiving. family. advocacy.

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