It can be quite a shock when you come to the realisation that you’ve been sleep walking most of your life.
And it can be a shock when you realise that what you thought was you being authentic was you still sleeping pretending you were awake.
For many years now I have been playing at being awake. As many of us do. It’s easy to fall into that trap. I thought I was waking up to the illusion of it all and yet, had nothing better to do than create a new illusion to take its place. And pretend that it was high vibrational and because it changed my life, or so I thought, it was going to change everyone else’s life.
And then one day I am given the gift of being the Truth. From within this state of Being I know completely. And I smile as I realise that nothing else I thought I knew even remotely compares. In fact nothing else I thought I knew is in that state of being. Because in reality it doesn’t even exist.
Beauty. Stillness and vastness. Utter peace. Everything in divine perfection.
Knowing that I am of something so much larger than myself. My guiding lighting force so to speak. And the joyousness at knowing that the figment of my imagination just doesn’t have a look in. It thought it was so important. It thought it knew it all.
It wasn’t and it didn’t. It had nothing to do with real knowing.
It was all one big nightmare mixed with fairytale playing on loop. The huge cosmic joke. I was lulled into believing that what my mind had created was real. And now I am awake to the fact that I have a choice. A choice to align with the divine or the illusion created by mind. So ultimately there is no choice.
And how can I tell now? From a knowingness at the core of my being. I am the knowing.
As I transition I feel the pain of my self struggling and kicking to re-establish itself. But the door is jammed wide open now. In fact I’ve take it off its hinges and thrown in on the bonfire.
Whenever the old stories try to resurrect themselves, I breathe into knowing and become it. Again and again. And it’s getting easier and easier.
So how can you tell you’re sleeping? Well, on one level it’s quite easy to see it in others but it’s harder to honestly acknowledge it within yourself and even harder to really wake up from the dream. Because the stakes are so high – whether it’s the nightmare or the fairytale. You’re blasting away the very foundations of your imagined existence. But bringing awareness to it drives in the first wedge.
Here are some pointers:
- you always want to be right
- you want to have the last word
- you want to convince others of your point of view
- you create a system and want to talk others into following it
- you get offended very easily
- you’re a master story teller
- you go into fear when others challenge you
- you want to control others: partner, kids, family…
- you think you’re indispensible
- you’re on a mission and want to change the world
- you want to fix everyone around you
- you bow to authority: schools, government, church…
- you give great value to ‘hearsay’
- you beat yourself up because you believe you’re not good enough and compare all the time
- you think you’re great and have accomplished great things
- you constantly strive to prove yourself and show you’re better than others
- you’re subservient to others and go into sacrifice for the greater good
These are just a few that come to mind.
Real knowing has nothing to do with any of this at all. It’s only about being willing to open up to the deeper reality within and allowing it free expression. Allowing and being in a state of knowing in alignment with the Divine.
You will know when the door opens. And you will know you have been sleeping.
Choosing to align your will with divine will. Waking up.