Defining Fear and the Bristol Riots

It was one of those synchronicities. I was at my kundalini dance session yesterday evening and our focus was on the base chakra. This is linked with themes such as belonging, stability, feeling at home and materialism to name a few. But the one that really jumped out for me was feeling safe.

And so it shouldn’t have been any great surprise to leave the session at a very late hour and discover that riots were forming outside on the streets.

This video documents what I felt as I walked to my car and my thoughts afterwards:

I could tangibly feel the fear sitting in my gut as I walked to my car. The fear of what could happen any moment. Was my fear real or was it just my ego mind trying to derail me again?

It was certainly a sign that I wasn’t fully present. My thoughts were racing off to some imaginery future, a future that saw images of violence, pain and threat. Based on what? Memories of a distant past that was probably hugely embellished in my mind and not in the least real.

However, in that moment my pain was real. I was in fear because I didn’t feel safe.

And all sorts of questions arise from this. Not only – how am I providing safety for myself in my life (or not, as the case may be)? But also where do I consider myself unsafe towards myself and others?

This is definitely a time to take a good look at where I show up for myself on all levels. It’s time to reassess where I am amply providing for myself in terms of finances, emotional support, physically, spiritually and any other areas of my life.

It’s so easy to get complacent and expect others to do this for me. But why should they? I am responsible for my own well-being and not just part-time. I am responsible for keeping me safe and secure. And sometimes it’s far from easy. But just making that commitment to myself to be there and do the best that I can and setting intention to stay on task no matter what, is all it takes for me to navigate my way through my fears and feel safe from moment to moment.

I have a lot to do but am willing to take the challenge.

I’m grateful that this has all been brought to my attention again.

And grateful for fear as a guiding force, contrary to expectation.

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4 Responses to Defining Fear and the Bristol Riots

  1. I can only imagine the serene state you were feeling exiting your kundali class so the shock of riots in the streets must have felt immensely offensive & frightening. No matter how calm , centered and safe you feel internally, this still had to be a shock to your system.

    I do believe that we create our own “safe” place within ourselves, but sometimes outside forces are very real. I’m happy to know you are safe (physically) and even safer emotionally.

    Hugs from across the pond –

    Heidi & Atticus
    “commentary to give you paws…”

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks Heidi. Yes, that contrast was huge in how I was feeling as I stepped outside and then what met me there. It has given me so much food for thought regarding how I give myself safety and how I look upon the world I live in. Your hug is well received and sending one back too. 🙂 x

  2. We parallel on this subject. Thank you for articulating it so well. It all is so clear when someone takes the time to spell it out.

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks a lot Rowena. Nice to hear we’re on the same page with this. Not only does it help me to recognise that all fear originates from within me, but also to see that fear can indeed be the trigger for some amazing growth.

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