An Eye for an Eye and a Tooth for a Tooth in a Perfectly Balanced Universe

Recent political events have reminded me of our great need to see justice done on any account. And it has also brought to my awareness how our actions of lashing out at others only perpetuate aggression and grief on this planet.

Over the years I have noticed (and I’m only speaking from my perspective) that no matter what happens, the universe always finds a way to balance things out all by itself. Whether or not we get involved. Life is in equilibrium.

It may seem on the surface that this isn’t the case. It doesn’t mean that it’s not happening thought. I know whenever I’ve taken the time to stop and look, I see that the balance is always there in some form or another. A while back I read a beautiful essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson called ‘Compensation‘ in which he addresses exactly this point. I would so recommend you read this piece, even though the language may seem a little difficult to understand.

Everything's in Equilibrium

This is what is true for me. We are unable to take anything away just as we are unable to add anything. All that we need is energetically present and energy cannot be destroyed,  which means that everything is in a constant state of transmutation.

In the very moment in which we step in to take action to redress the balance, something else of equal measure is happening to balance it out again.

I appreciate that this is a concept which you may not relate to or which isn’t true for you. And I totally respect that.  It could never be my job to try and talk you into seeing things my way. I love that we all have different points of view as we all create our own reality according to what is important to us in our own world.

And as I think about our need for retribution, I remind myself that everything in my universe is only a reflection of me. It’s because I’m not always able to fully see myself and so I have a wonderful system that reflects back to me, moment by moment, exactly what is going on within me. And the more indignant I feel about things happening around me, the higher the probability that it is something that I am denying  within me and that I am expressing towards others.

I can remember when I first realised that I was in a large hall of mirrors. How it catapaulted me into a completely new space. One of being unable any longer to cast blame, even if I tried it periodically, as it meant that I was the creator of everything.With every negative word or action I was condemning or judging myself.

This was a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand it woke me up to the fact it was my responsibility to take complete ownership of everything in my life – including every heartbeat, every breath. At the same time it was hugely liberating and empowering to acknowledge that I was in control every step of the way. And there was no going back, ever.

I certainly have a long way to go. I am far from enlightened and sometimes feel like I have returned to square one with no skills in my knapsack. Empty handed but willing to learn and love on the way.

The big lesson for me is, now that I see and understand that no-one else is responsible for anything in my life, not to beat myself up for any perceived mess I find myself in. It’s about allowing, giving myself permission to be, do and have what I dream of.

POSTSCRIPT: Here are some afterthoughts I have had to the above. For me there’s no such thing as partially taking responsibility for my life. I either do it or I don’t, not just picking out the bits that are easy to work with and passing on the rest. An inner world of turmoil reflects an outer world of turmoil and vice versa. And so with regards to making a change in this world, I think it can be done one person at a time. That person is me.  Everything is energy and so by taking complete responsibility for my thoughts and emotions and the energy that I radiate into my outer world, this will dictate the experience I have of my life.  If we each only start with ourselves, imagine what a difference that could make.

I have taken the time to reply to your comments and really welcome everyone sharing. Thank you for bringing this discussion alive.

How do you feel about being completely responsible for absolutely everything in your life all the time? Or isn’t it something you have contemplated?

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42 Responses to An Eye for an Eye and a Tooth for a Tooth in a Perfectly Balanced Universe

  1. I’m having a hard time with this Fiona. While I agree with it in most instances and I have had to learn to take responsibility for my actions and what I create in my life, I cannot agree that I am responsible for everything that happens in my life. When someone is senselessly murdered by a complete strange, how are they responsible? By being in the wrong place at the wrong time? I think sometimes random things happen and perhaps the person who perpetuates an act of violence against another is the one responsible, not the one who is at the other end of that violence. I could give many examples but don’t want to get into too much of a debate. Perhaps it is my Jewish nature and having been educated about the Holocaust. 6,000,000 Jews, 1,000,000 of which were children and 4,000,000 murdered for being who they are – I don’t see where their responsibility is in that. May not be what you were talking about so I may just be filtering it through my own lens. Sorry I got up on my soapbox! 🙂 I still love you, you know. And since I seem to be the first to comment, hopefully mine will be buried at the bottom! 🙂

    Susan Berland
    A Picture’s Worth
    http://www.susan-berland.com

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      You are so welcome to make any comments you choose on my page Susan. That’s what’s so lovely about life. This is such a huge topic and the space here doesn’t allow very indepth discussion. But perhaps I could just share this thought…

      I believe that we can be responsible both on a personal level and on a global level. And sometimes the correlation is more subtle. I can think of many times in my life when I became so incensed with rage that the energy I created and directed towards someone was paramount to killling them. Our mind knows no real difference between things we visualise and the things that ‘really happen’. When I am inwardly troubled and anxious, my outer world is filled with experiences that reflect this.

      I have so often seen that when I tidy up inwardly, my outer experiences reflect this too. It’s true that we cannot change the world and what is going on for us collectively, but if we begin with ourselves and bring more awareness to the energy we direct outwards, then we can start to notice changes in how we experience the world.

      Susan, thank you so much for commenting here. I love you too and all is in perfect balance.

  2. This is a brave and insightful post, Fiona, and I’m grateful to you that you wrote it. I do agree with you and I also see what Susan is trying to say in her comment. When a horrible instance happens to an innocent it’s not possible to see that the act was “attracted” at some level. But the way we react to situations, both in our personal spheres and globally, does directly mirror our own self-thoughts. I’m not articulating this as well as you have done, Fiona, but I think you understand.
    Peace to all … that’s my only hope.
    Heidi & Atticus
    http://www.atticusuncensored.com
    “commentary to give you paws…”

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks Heidi. I appreciate your comments. I added a postscript to my post this morning to clarify my thoughts on this subject. This goes into the realm of resonance and how similar vibrational fields are attracted to each other. I don’t think we can directly change anything else but we can certainly change the way we feel and react.

  3. Fiona, I loved reading this, and I feel the balance you are feeling in your spirit. I don’t know how I sit with everything you’ve written. I believe as adults we create our worlds and invite whatever comes to us…but maybe that’s easy for me to say as a person with stability and the good fortune to be born in a safe environment.

    I find this philosophy troublesome when extended to everyone for some of the reasons Susan mentioned. I don’t believe children ask to be abused, and I don’t believe that we can expect children to react to being abused with some kind of philosophy to grow from it or see it as part of the “natural balance” of the world. I guess it depends on whether you are talking about yourself and your contained little world (all of our personal worlds are small little places in comparison to the world at large) or whether you are making some statement that you believe is true about the whole world for everyone, all the time.

    Random events do happen. People get sick, not because they have willed it with “sick souls” or because they wanted to be ill. The event can still be a source of growth. Terrible suffering goes on in the world, and injustice. I don’t know if there is something balancing that.

    It is a gift to learn to assume responsibility for ourselves. To me, part of that is understanding the hugeness of what we do not control, and the vastness of what is not known.

    Obviously this is a wonderful post because we have so much to say!

    Judy Stone-Goldman
    The Reflective Writer
    “My cat owns me, my clutter stymies me, my writing frees me. Word maven loves—and learns from—ordinary life.”
    http://www.thereflectivewriter.com/blog/

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for commenting Judy. I have added a postscript to share some further thoughts. And while we personally don’t go out and commit these ‘attrocities’, we as a race are creating a vibrational field for these things to happen in. This is about clearing up own backyard first. When each of us does this, (and it is a big enough job in itself), and moves away from mindlessly reacting to things by changing our reaction to things, we can collectively shift the energy on this planet.

  4. Hi Fiona,
    there is nothing to add. I am fully aligned with you and your energy.
    But there is one thing I would like to add: we can change the world and we do it all the time. With our perception, our intention and with our energy.
    The world is constantly changing and the people are, they come and go, there is continuous flow and change. Can we make the world a better place? I don’t know and maybe as you said before, maybe it is not supposed to be that way because we need balance, yin and yang. Can I make my world a better place? If I choose to live with awareness, absolutely.

    Love and peace to a troubled soul.

    Franziska San Pedro
    The Abstract Impressionist Artress

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Hi Franziska and thanks for commenting. I agree that our world is constantly changing and that it is due to the energy we create it with. And each of us is responsible for what we put into it so we have to start with ourselves. I can make my world ‘better’ for me but I can’t ‘fix’ things for other people. Awareness of our thoughts and actions is key.

  5. Molly Perry says:

    So much of my life is reflective of my belief in God. I do feel that I have all the free will in the world to make choices, good or bad, as do others. I keep my faith front and center and know that it will carry me and guide me. I certainly can be a light in the world, and hope I am.

  6. I had to read this post twice, as there was much information in it to digest. I think we are mostly responsible for our own happiness and if we make wrong decisions, the universe has a way of dealing with us my handing out natural consequences. I try to view this as a lesson learned; if you experience something negative due to a poor decision, you will probably not do it again. On the other hand, being Jewish, the big mystery for me has always been the Holocaust and why 6 million innocent Jews were slaughtered, simply because of who they were and what they believed. Where was God when this was happening? I used to teach religious school and it was difficult to explain this to a group of young people. Why was my daughter tortured as a little girl? She could not take responsibility for that, but the people who did will have to live with themselves, knowing what pain they caused her. I think it’s all about have a conscience. Those of us that do pay the price (guilt, remorse) when we do something that hurts someone and sometimes those feelings can be overwhelming. I love that you put this out there in the public stream. I believe I will be thinking about this all day!

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Hi Laurie,

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I’m glad this post has given you food for thought. I know that we all have our own way of looking upon the world, and indeed, that we all literally live in our own world. And the terms ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are only labels we put on things relative to our own experiences to help us try and understand what is going on.

      This is an exercise in being present, in the now. I can only be completely responsible for myself in the present moment. No-one else can do that. Only me. And the past is only a memory and can be used as a story to stop us from getting on with what is present, in the moment of power.

      I agree with you in that it is hard to understand the background of the Holocaust or why children are abused. I don’t see the complete picture. However, for me, coming right back into the present moment is the way to change that. Not giving away my power to things that have been or might never come to pass.

      And I also feel Source’s presence in everything I do. Call it God, call it whatever you like to name it. The Source is within me and expresses itself through me and so can never not be there. But it is not Source’s job to intervene and ‘make things right’. I could write a whole book here and we are getting a bit off topic but I wanted to comment on what you had written Laurie. Thanks for sharing.

  7. First I totally agree with what you said in your postscript, “Everything is energy and so by taking complete responsibility for my thoughts and emotions and the energy that I radiate into my outer world, this will dictate the experience I have of my life. If we each only start with ourselves, imagine what a difference that could make.”

    When I think back when I worked in a regular day job I didn’t realize the impact I was having on this world and that I was even responsible. I was very lucky was I was out of college landing one job after the other and receiving promotions after promotions, but then of course my life took a turn and I am where I am now as an entrepreneur.

    In my journey I realized that I am totally responsible for absolutely everything in my life all the time. It can be scary at times and I’ve had my dark moments. But what I realized is that I do have the power within me to really live the life that I dream. I sometimes need a nudge to remember this but most times I do. hahah!

    Lovely share, Fiona!

    Alara K. Castell
    Your Sassy Spiritual Guide

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Alara, thanks for commenting and sharing your experience. It can certainly be dark and scary being on the journey, but well worth it, I find.

  8. Irene Turner says:

    LOVE this discussion. While I don’t always understand it, I do know in my heart that it is true. IF we say that everything is one and we are all energy, then we can’t go back and say, but “I” didn’t create this happening to “me”. In this belief structure there is no I and no me. There is only one, and so the balance comes as a whole, not as an individual. Tough to understand, but wonderful to contemplate. It’s always more difficult when we make it personal, isn’t it?

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for commenting Irene. It’s certainly more difficult when we are called to make it personal. It’s always easy to do when the situation is supportive but when the challenges come in, it is sometimes very hard to take full responsibility for how we are. It’s a life-long journey for me and I love taking the challenge even if I don’t always fully understand what is happening as I can’t see the bigger picture.

  9. You know I think I finally DO get this at an intuitive level, I have been doing a LOT of work on my as you know, starting to meditate, journal and going on all kids of courses and calls and I do ‘feel’ the bigger picture. Forgive me if I don’t explain it well because this is like a revelatory feeling to me rather than something in my head (and the heart is where it should be so that’s good!). We are all energy and if we each choose to raise our vibrational energy then the collective energy will be that of love rather than that of fear. The holocaust is a tough one but I don’t see it that those individuals chose the horrors that awaited them – rather it was the collective energy of fear and hate and they were the unfortunate victims. I agree with Alara that you sum it up well when you say “Everything is energy and so by taking complete responsibility for my thoughts and emotions and the energy that I radiate into my outer world, this will dictate the experience I have of my life. If we each only start with ourselves, imagine what a difference that could make.”. Wow ! I think I am connecting with source finally!
    Louise Edington
    Fearless Over fifty
    http://louiseedington.com

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      We can each only affect the collective unconscious by focussing on ourselves. Thanks for commenting Louise. Isn’t it beautiful to feel that connection?

  10. Fiona – while I may not 100% agree with the underlying thought, I am always open to others opinions and a big believer that we all are entitled to our thoughts. I do believe in Balance! Yes – most of the times the world appears to have a sense of equilibrium to it.

    Fiona – thanks for sharing your thoughts – that is what this is for! kudos – Rachel

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Rachel, I so welcome you and your thoughts here. That is what balance is all about. On topics like this, there has to be an equal balance of agreement and disagreement too. And at the end of the day, there is no right and wrong. It’s all about stimulating each other to further thought and to stretch ourselves to see things from another’s perspective.

      I love to see the different sides emerging in discussions as that is the natural way of things. We are all here to teach each other, aren’t we?

  11. Donna McCord says:

    I really enjoyed reading the article by Ralph Waldo Emerson that you recommended, Fiona, and I also found what you shared was so obviously written from your heart and soul. What I have learned from my own life and the growth in my relationship with God lines up in many ways with the Compensation essay. I do believe that God has everything in His hands, but because as His creation we are given the ability to make our own choices, we also have the ability to either be a reflection of Him or be in opposition to Him. Either way, His will and His perfection always prevail. The balance of the universe He created continues to assert itself regardless of what we humans do. For every evil there is, I believe there is a greater good that will arise. We live in an imperfect world filled with imperfect people that sometimes choose to do unspeakable acts. I believe that when we commit to making good choices and putting others needs before our own, trusting in the Love and Power of the Living God, we can make a difference and spread light into darkness. We may even be able to influence and have a positive impact on someone who has been making bad choices and living in that darkness. Evil events like the Holocaust or child abuse or war are the result of human beings choosing to live apart from the way God created us to live, or becoming victims of others’ pride, greed, selfishness, lust, or even insanity. From what the Bible tells us, we as humans are all responsible for one another and so, yes, looking at the big picture, we are the cause of our own problems. But as you say, Fiona, we also have the choice to focus on being who we are created to be and use our gifts to reach out and make a difference in a world that is hurting in so many ways. God allows evil to exist in the world but He empowers us to fight the battles against it and He assures us of the Final Victory.

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Hi Donna and thanks so much for commenting here. I’m thrilled you read and enjoyed the essay. We have free will and that is why God is not there picking us up and fixing things. I so agree that the balance of the universe will prevail no matter what we choose to do. I love the way you have taken time to give such a thoughtful response and bring your relationship to God into this discussion.

      One thing that did strike me as I read is that I see perfection in perceived imperfection if that makes sense. I believe that everything is just exactly the way it is meant to be in any given moment and that this leads us to optimum growth if we take the time to look and see what is really happening below the surface.

      I am feeling inspired to go and read more of Emerson’s work again. His words truly strike a note with me.

      Thank you so much for sharing Donna. x

  12. Bold post, my friend 🙂 As someone who has experienced a great deal of challenges, there was a time that I really, really struggled with this. Now after time and reflection I see it all as part of the journey and I see my contribution. My limited understanding of energy has broadened my view and I see the world in a different way today – and it impacts my daily choices…
    Brandy

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks Brandy. I appreciate your comments. And I’m glad your view of the world has changed.

  13. Julie Labes says:

    After reading all the comments, i feel as though i really don’t have anything to add..is it possible to agree with ALL the comments even though some of them do not agree with each other? I do not believe that anyone thinks “Oh I hope something really bad happens to me today” but we do as humans tend to think in the negative..usually because we are thinking about something we DON”T want. Unfortunately the universe does not recognize the difference..it just responds to what is in out vibrational bubble.
    While Americans dance and cheer in the streets over recent events, what they should know is that all their thoughts of “death, revenge, justice, terror” will be the same realities that they will bring back to themselves.

    Julie Labes,…The Fierce over 50 feels much younger point and click junkie loves to travel does not use a jogging stroller and before you ask this is NOT my granddaughter..Woman

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Julie, I’m sure it’s okay to agree with all the comments even though they say different things. I agree with you that there is a huge focus on what we don’t want in this world. What goes around, comes around. Thanks for commenting.

  14. Ni Ini says:

    Fiona,
    I love your texts, as the way you put things resonates with me! You deserve my deepest respect and you’ve got it! I have always admired you! But you know that already! :))
    As a legal professional, I’d like to take this opportunity to emphasize the difference between the “systems of talions” and so called “justice been done”.
    “An eye-for-an-eye” principle was created in Babylonian law and existed in early Roman law. That was ages ago! At this point in time it seems quite reasonable to me to remind all of us that we are living in the 21st Century. Law and order have got a completely different meaning! Thanx Heaven!
    Ni Ini

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Ni, I appreciate your comments. And I’m honoured that you resonate with what I share. That’s what life’s about after all. Tuning into things of like-resonance. And thanks for the info about Babylonian law. x

  15. Pat Zahn says:

    Fiona – I have to say that I was completely confused by this. If the universe always balances things out whether we get involved or not, then she takes her sweet time. I believe the balance comes from those of us willing to submit ourselves to that which is just – and of course, that begs the question, “what is just?” I actually believe we are compelled to get involved. When I read your Postscript, my understanding of what you have written changes. Here I see you talking about personal responsibility, which is different than what I understand the original piece is about. Yes…very confused…

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Pat, thanks for commenting. There is no space and time between cause and effect. Balance is always simultaneous. I understand completely that you might be confused by what I write as it seems to contradict what you believe in. That’s something that sometimes happens to me to but I know it’s just a sign that I am being challenged to embrace a different viewpoint. As I said, there are many viewpoints and there is no wrong or right in any of this. That is also part of the balance in our universe.

  16. Fiona – You are such a beautiful writer! You are truly gifted. I firmly believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Regardless of whether or not I can see the results, I do believe and trust that God or Karma or whatever it is balances out the scales of justice.

    Debbie

  17. Very interesting. I get it and am confused all at the same time…if thats possible! I believe you need to take charge of your self, emotions, and believe in yourself…and that everything we need is right here in the universe. I don’t think bad things happen to people because of their thinking…but understand what your saying about all the negative in the universe creating it. Julie’s last comment worries me! We have all seen that what goes around comes around.

    I know that the universe talks to me sometimes, when I am willing to hear it, and so I react. Other times I wish it would talk to me, and maybe its because I am hoping for or wanting something that “isn’t in the cards at this instant”….as I told my friend Yvonne patience is not one of my virtues! However, I know that when I do (what I call) my treatments, I can have faith, it will all work out (in the highest good). I have a long way to go….in understanding fully but am getting there. Thanks for sharing:)

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks Rita. I always welcome it when I feel confused after reading something as I know my beliefs are being challenged. And that ultimately brings growth.

      The whole concept of patience is interesting. Sometimes I don’t think the universe is giving me an answer, but it is always there, just not in the form I am expecting it in. So I maybe don’t see it for a bit. And sometimes I feel that the best course of action is to do nothing at all but just rest in the stillness.

      When I bring my focus 100% to me taking responsibility for me and my life, then other things have a way of taking care of themselves. When I’m in the flow, I really feel it and when I ‘m not, I’m just being guided back on course. It’s only my thoughts that truly struggle.

  18. Hi Fiona,

    Thanks for your lovely post. I hardly understood what you said, but it was lovely. I’m bewildered by your concept of reality. But deep down, practically everything bewilders me these days, so I accept life with a generous grain of salt and do my best to hold on.

    I’m with you, thinking that what we perceive mirrors (in some way) what we’re believing (As opposed to “I’ll believe it when I see it”). I think your notion of “vibrations” corresponds to my vague sense of how people can occasionally “pick up” on someone’s “vibe”. And what does “responsible” mean? Are we in control of what we do and how we react to things around us? And the consequences of these actions? And anything else?

    For me, the rest is way out there, I’m afraid. Reading it felt like grasping for shadows and coming up with cobwebs. For example, far from living in a world approaching equilibrium, it seems to me that our differences blur more and more every day, and we’re approaching total randomness.

    I promise I’ll save your post, and come back to re-read it from time to time. Who knows, hopefully I’ll even begin to comprehend what you’re talking about.

    By the way, I recently heard someone joke the the only thing worse than a crazy person is ARGUING with a crazy person. But I disagree. It’s far worse to dismiss as crazy someone you fail to understand. So thank you for giving me some serious food for thought. As always.

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thank you as always for your thoughtful comments. And I love the way you really take time to read what is there and think about it.

      This whole thread really highlights how we all truly create our own reality. We all live literally in our own world, seeing things in different ways and believing in different things. There is no ‘real world’.

      I think it’s fabulous that you’re bewildered by what I express. That in itself is mind-expanding.

      And I just wanted to add that despite perceived randomness, there can still be equilibrium underlying it all. Without it our planet could not hold itself together.

      Look forward to a chat at some later point Robbie. Thanks.

  19. First of all, Fiona, thanks for shaking things up in your gentle, loving way. What a great discussion you have evoked! And coming in a little late, I had the benefit of reading all of the posts. As you might have guesssed, I am very much in alignment with what you expressed even though, no, I don’t understand it all. What has helped me is my work as an evolutionary astrologer in which I am not only working with the conscious awareness of the person, but with the unconscious issues that reflect the deeper life of the soul. Patterns in charts are powerful–and show up in family systems.
    “Earth School” is the opportunity, as an individual, to either resolve these patterns or fight/deny/ignore them. So once again, as emerges from the insightful discussion above, the crucial piece is taking courageous responsibility for ourselves. It’s the work of a lifetime and I believe, makes far more impact than we can ever know.

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for your loving reply Maridel. I get a great sense of how much we are all in alignment with each other but the feeling of not being able to grasp it, understand it, is what sometimes alienates.

      This is the work of a lifetime and right now I am being called to take complete responsibility for events unfolding on my doorstep. I love being called to walk my talk and this brings the greatest learning for me. It takes it all away from being an intellectual exercise and transforms it into deeper knowing.

      Life is a beautiful experience.

  20. Ann Evanston says:

    One of the hardest and greatest lessons I learned was from Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements. He says: “Don’t take anything personally. Even if someone walks up and shoots you in the head. Don’t take it personally.” This has helped me heal tremendously. and be braver in everything I do.

    Ann Evanston
    Lead. Empower. Own.
    annevanston.com

    • Fiona Stolze says:

      Thanks for commenting Ann and sharing this great quote. I really love Miguel Ruiz’s work too. And this takes us even deeper into the paradox of this discussion. We are only ever relating to ourselves. It really helps us to not take anything personally. – but that opens up a whole new discussion.

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